


The Project

by alicorniansheepyllama



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Bonding, Depression, Friendship Mending, Hurt/Comfort, Isolation, Manipulation, Multi, Science Experiments, Suicide Attempt, Suspicious Behavior
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-02-27 16:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13252527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicorniansheepyllama/pseuds/alicorniansheepyllama
Summary: After the Halloween party, Jeremy had pretty much moved on from Michael. He and his SQUIP had a new plan to get Christine, and it seemed like a simple path to victory... Until a teacher's simple decision throws everything out of whack.OrJeremy and Michael are assigned as partners for a school project. Talk about awkward...





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this one shot](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12915708/chapters/30018012)
> 
> Bold is the SQUIP's dialogue  
> Italicized is Jeremy talking in his head to the SQUIP

Jeremy eyed Jake carefully as he hobbled up to his locker. “You need any help?” he asked.

 Jake looked down at his broken legs, then back up at Jeremy. “Nah, I got it.” He got to his locker, opened it, and began trying to take his books out. 

 Jenna walked past Jeremy and stood beside Jake. “At least let us help you with your books!” she said gently. 

 Jake looked thoughtful for a moment, and then sighed. “Fine.” 

 Jeremy and Jenna spilt his books between them, and carried them in addition to their own books. It wasn’t too much of a difference though, and the three of them soon made it to class. 

 “Thanks guys.” said Jake as he carefully sat down at his desk. 

 Jenna put a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “No problem Jake. You’ve been through a lot recently, and it’s the least I could do. Let me know if there’s anything else that you need.” she smiled and then sat down at her desk. 

 Jeremy nodded. “Yeah dude, I’m really sorry about what happened.” 

 Before Jake could respond, the teacher walked in, and Jeremy quickly went to his desk and sat down.

 Somewhere between Mr. Battoff’s lecture about the ecosystem of a pond vs a swamp, Jeremy’s SQUIP started talking to him. 

  **Jenna may have a crush on Jake. If we can get them together, Christine will see that Jake has moved on, and may be more willing to do the same.**

  _Are you sure she does? She might just be looking for any kind of attention. You know how she is…_

  **Well what better attention could she get than from a boyfriend? And she has a SQUIP now too, remember? It’s most likely influencing her actions towards a goal. During lunch, I can sync up to her SQUIP, so that we can both get what we want.**

  _Okay, we’ll do that. Now stop talking so I can focus. I won’t have a chance with Christine if I flunk out of High School!_

 Mr. Battoff droned on, and before Jeremy knew it, the class was coming to an end. “Before I let you go, I’d like to remind everyone that today you all start your mid semester science projects that's due this Friday. The theme is marine life. For the project, I will be splitting you up in pairs.” he said. 

 He began to write names on the white board. Jake and Dustin, Jenna and Martha, Jeremy… and Michael. 

 When Jeremy saw who he was partnered with, his heart froze. This couldn’t be happening. 

 He didn’t even notice at first when the other students began to leave. It took a slight shock from his SQUIP to snap him out of his dazed panic. When he did, Jeremy got up and went to the teacher. 

 “Mr. Battoff, is there any way that I could have a different partner?” he asked desperately. 

 Mr. Battoff shook his head. “Sorry Jeremy, but these are the partners I’ve decided on. I thought you of all people would be least likely to complain. I see you and Michael together all the time.”

 “But, we don’t get along anymore! Please Mr. Battoff!” Jeremy pleaded. 

 “I’m sure you can put aside whatever’s going on between you two long enough to finish the project.” said Mr. Battoff. “It’s never too late to learn how to work with someone you don’t particularly like. It’s a good life skill to have.” 

 Jeremy sighed. “Okay, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” With that, he sulked out of the classroom. _What are we going to do?!_

  **I don’t know why you’re so worried Jeremy. School projects are perfectly normal.**

  _But Michael’s my partner! I’m not supposed to associate with him anymore, I’m not even supposed to see him!_

  **That was in the context of casual interaction. No one will change their opinion of you based on an unavoidable situation. As for you seeing him, I only blocked him because he was hindering your social standing. I’ve already unblocked him for the project.**

  _But… How can I face him after everything that’s happened?_

  **You must put away whatever emotional feelings you have concerning Michael. This is nothing more than necessary interaction for a common goal. If he tries to make it something more, we’ll just make our intentions clear to him. Got it?**

  _Yeah, okay. You’re right. This won’t be a problem._

  **Atta boy.**

 Jeremy went through the rest of his day without worry. When it was time for lunch, Jeremy walked into the cafeteria and saw Michael eating at a corner table by himself. He walked up to him, and when their eyes met, Michael looked like he was in shock for a few seconds. 

 “J…Jeremy?” he said in disbelief. 

 Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Don’t act so surprised. I know you saw that we’re partners for the science project.” 

 Michael’s eyes widened. “I thought… I mean, I figured you would try to change.” 

 Jeremy shrugged. “I did, but Mr. Battoff wouldn’t budge, so here we are.” 

 Michael looked down and started twiddling with his fingers. “Yeah… Any ideas for the project?” he muttered. 

 Jeremy sat down next to him and opened his Biology textbook on the table. “I saw the project in the syllabus awhile ago, so I was on the lookout for possibilities when we started the unit. I think the best one would be about finding safe water for marine life. You know, detecting chlorine, taking water samples, stuff like that.” 

 “The pond behind my house would be good for that.” Michael pointed out. 

 Jeremy nodded. “That’s what I was thinking. I can pick up some water test… things… after school, and then we can meet at your house.” 

 Michael nearly choked on his food. “M-my house? Well, I don’t know if that’s…”

 Jeremy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “It makes sense, with the pond being near your house. What’s the issue?” 

 Michael shrugged. “Nothing really, my house is just… a mess right now.” 

 Jeremy couldn’t help letting out a chuckle. “Your house is always a mess. I’ve never cared before.” 

 “Okay, I’ll see you then.” Michael said. 

 Jeremy nodded, got up from the table, and made his way to his friends.

* * *

 Later that day, Jeremy arrived at Michael’s house with his textbook and a shopping bag in hand. He knocked on the door, and a few seconds passed before Michael answered.

 “Come on in.” Michael said warily. “You want to work in the basement?” 

 Jeremy shrugged. “Works for me.” 

 Michael led Jeremy down to the basement. Despite what Michael had said, his house was fairly clean from what he saw. In fact, the basement in particular (which Michael had turned into his room back in middle school) was cleaner than Jeremy had ever seen it before. Jeremy figured that Michael must have cleaned before he got there. 

 “Okay, should we get started?” asked Jeremy. 

 Michael nodded, sat down on a couch that was behind a coffee table, and set his textbook on said table. 

 When Jeremy sat down next to him, he noticed that Michael tensed up for a moment. _He must feel awkward…_

  **That’s good. We won’t have to worry about him trying to “fix things” between you two.**

 “So, I picked up a water testing kit at the store, and some chemicals so we can see how they affect the results.” said Jeremy. 

 Michael looked in the bag at different chemicals. “Looks like you got bleach, chlorine, drain cleaner, and insecticide.” he looked up at Jeremy. “Not very fish friendly…” he remarked. 

 “Yeah, marine life can’t live in water that has these chemicals.” responded Jeremy. “So, we can get some regular tap water, and have a different cup for each chemical. Then we’ll see how they look on the water sticks.” 

 Michael and Jeremy got to work. Before long, five cups of water sat on the table, one for each chemical, and one control, per Michael’s suggestion. From there, Jeremy opened the water testing kit, and testing each cup while Michael took notes. Within an hour, they were done. 

 “Well, that sure was fun.” Jeremy said sarcastically. 

 Michael let out a small laugh. “Yeah, I could do this all day.” 

 Jeremy smiled as he stood up. “Tomorrow, we can go to the pond and get samples. Then we have to go through the book and figure out which fish and plants could live in the water, and which can’t.” 

 Michael perked up with an idea. “Maybe we could even get a fish from the pet store for a class demonstration. Then you get a pet out of this.” 

 Jeremy smiled at the idea. “Sounds fun, but I don’t really need a fish afterwards. You could keep it though.” 

 Michael’s smile faded. “Uh… I don’t know, I don’t really… And we’d have to ask the teacher I think, so…” he shrugged. 

 “Well, either way, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jeremy said. He began to walk out, when Michael called after him. 

 “Wait, you forgot the kit and the chemicals.” he said, holding it out the shopping bag. 

 Jeremy waved it off. “Nah, I’ll keep it here. It’s more convenient.” 

 Michael got a strange look on his face, and looked like he was about to protest, but then he slowly set the bag down on the table. “Okay, see ya.” he said. 

 Jeremy walked out of Michael’s house and sighed with relief. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. It was only a week long project, and Michael wasn’t trying to make it anything more. 

  **See Jeremy? I told you this wouldn’t be a problem. Just don’t get distracted this week, and we’ll be back on track to achieving your goal in no time.**


	2. Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold is the SQUIP's dialogue  
> Italicized is Jeremy talking in his head to the SQUIP

The next morning, Jeremy arrived at school before any of his friends. That wasn’t a surprise given Jake’s injury, but he actually might not be late today because Jenna Roland had offered to pick him up. Maybe Jenna did have a crush on him… 

Jeremy thought about it as he closed his locker and started walking to class with his books. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Michael walking towards him, and Jeremy almost didn’t recognize him.

Michael had his hood pulled up over his head, and he had his headphones on, no doubt playing music that drowned out the rest of the world. He walked with head down, and had yet to even notice Jeremy.

Despite himself, Jeremy couldn’t help softly calling out Michael’s name, his voice dripping with concern. “…Michael?”

When he spoke, Michael looked up in surprise and removed his headphones. Jeremy couldn’t help but notice Michael’s eyes seemed unfocused for a second, before he blinked and his eyes locked with Jeremy’s. “Did you say something to me?” Michael asked.

Jeremy nodded, but wasn’t sure how to continue. He couldn’t stop looking at Michael’s face. He wasn’t sure how he had missed it yesterday, but the bags under Michael’s eyes looked like they had been there for awhile. He looked exhausted.

A shock from the SQUIP made Jeremy realize that he had just been staring at Michael without saying anything. “Um… I was just wondering… If we could get some plant samples too when we go to the pond. Maybe see if we can identify it.”

Michael shrugged. “Probably. If there are plants near the bank, cause I’m not gonna go swimming for it.”

“Yeah, okay… g-great!” stuttered Jeremy, causing him to receiving another shock.

Michael nodded. He stood idle for a moment, before slipping his headphones back on and walking past Jeremy.

Jeremy turned around and stared after him, feeling a twinge of sadness. _Michael doesn’t look like himself today._

**He’s probably having a hard time at school, or in his social life.**

_He looked awful… I kind of feel bad._  
****

**Now now Jeremy, you did what had to be done. You know he was only holding you back. He’ll get over it eventually, and move on just like you have.**

_But…_  
****

“Hey Jeremy! How’s it going?”

Jeremy’s conversation with the SQUIP was interrupted by Jake, who was standing there with this arm around Jeremy’s shoulder. Jenna was standing nearby.

“Oh, just fine. How’s your project going?” asked Jeremy.

Jake laughed. “I’m letting Dustin do it. He may be on the football team, but the guy’s a total genius! I really hit the jackpot with my partner. What about you?”

Jeremy started to get nervous. _What if Jake thinks I’d start acting like my old self again?_

**Act casual about it. Remember, Michael is just a partner for the science project.**

“Michael’s fine. He’s a little weird, but just working the project with him isn’t so bad.” said Jeremy casually.

Jake gave him a weird look. “I uh… I meant how’s the project going?”

Jeremy blushed furiously. “O-oh! heh, sorry. The project’s going good! We’ve done a lot already, and lots of cool stuff to try out still.”

Jake laughed. “Looks like you’re a bit of a nerd yourself…” When he saw Jeremy’s panicked look, he waved it off. “Don’t worry Heere, it’s good to have healthy levels of nerd in you. Something’s gotta carry you through life after High School.”

Jenna shrugged. “I kind of find it attractive when a guy has an intelligent side.”

Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief. At the sound of the warning bell, Jeremy, Jake, and Jenna walked into class.

* * *

After school, Jeremy went with Michael to his house. When they arrived, Michael went right for the kitchen. At first, Jeremy thought he was getting glasses for the water samples, but then Michael opened the refrigerator.

“What are you doing?” asked Jeremy.

Michael turned to face Jeremy, looking a bit embarrassed. “Sorry, I’m really hungry. I didn’t eat lunch today.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows in surprise. “And… Why not?”

“My lunch card expired yesterday.” Michael admitted.

Jeremy’s confusion grew. “You didn’t renew it for the next semester?”

Michael shook his head. “I… Forgot.”

Jeremy sighed. Michael was usually the type of person to never forget anything, but he supposed that the last few weeks could have caused it to slip his mind. “Well, you’ll have to talk to the administrator to get it renewed, but you can share my lunch at school until then.”

He said it without even thinking, but as Michael’s eyes widened in surprise, Jeremy received a shock from the SQUIP. _What’s your problem? It’s not a crime to be a decent person!_

**Your intentions came from a place of caring. I just want to remind you the type of relationship you have with Michael, which is none, friendship or otherwise.**

_I know, but I’m not going to let him starve!_  
****

**Like I said, it was just a reminder.**

Jeremy scowled, and he noticed that Michael lowered his eyes and mumbled something that he couldn’t hear. Jeremy wanted to reassure Michael that he wasn’t scowling at him, but then figured it didn’t really matter. Instead, he decided to get right to business.  
****

As Michael got something to eat, Jeremy got glasses out for the samples. When they were both ready to go, Jeremy and Michael headed outside. On the way out, Jeremy noticed the shopping back from yesterday out on the back porch.

“Hey Michael, what’s the project stuff doing out here?”

Michael turned around and looked a bit pale, his eyes drifting from Jeremy to the bag. Finally, he shrugged. “I thought it would be better to test the water outside. There’s a picnic table we can use.”

Jeremy thought it was a decent idea, and ignored that strange look that Michael’s face, similar to the one from yesterday. _I just want to get this over with…_

**You and me both Jeremy.**

At the pond, Jeremy and Michael began to gather samples. There were five glasses, just like yesterday. In only a few minutes, they were all filled, and Jeremy was ready to head back, until Michael stopped him.  
****

“Didn’t you want to get plant samples?” he asked.

“Oh, right. I’ll get them.” Jeremy responded.

He looked around the bank and saw a lot of cattails. He grabbed some, and then noticed the lily pads floating around on the pond. They were just out of his reach from the back, but he got a stick and used it to reach them. Suddenly, his foot slipped in the mud as he was leaning forward.

Just before he fell face first into the pond, Michael grabbed his arm and steadied him. Jeremy pulled in the lily pad, and turned around to see Michael trying to stifle a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Jeremy asked indignantly.

“S-sorry Jeremy,” said Michael through his giggles. “It’s just… The same thing happened the first time we went to the pond. You actually fell in back then though.”

Jeremy remembered that now. Michael had been more scared than he was. “Yeah, you thought I was going to drown. You started crying.”

Michael let out an embarrassed laugh. “Well, I didn’t want my friend dying in my pond! This time I saw it coming though. You really have to become more coordinated if you’re going to do stuff like that.”

“Hey, that mud was really slippery!” defended Jeremy.

“It doesn’t affect me!” said Michael. “Remember all the times we went fishing out here? I stood right in the mud and never slipped.”

Jeremy shrugged. “You ruined your shoes though. I remember your mom was pissed about it.”

“Hey, at least I had shoes that were worth getting pissed about!” retorted Michael.

Jeremy’s mouth fell open in surprise, then he started to laugh. Michael joined him, and they were just cracking up. “Wow Michael, that was harsh!” said Jeremy through the laughter.

Suddenly, Jeremy felt a jolt of electricity go up his spine, and he stopped laughing abruptly. He looked at Michael, who was still smiling brightly. Jeremy cleared his throat. “Well… We should probably get back and start working on the project.” he said flatly.

Michael blinked as his laughter faded away, then he nodded. “Right, let’s go.”

Back at the house, Jeremy and Michael worked together testing the samples with the different chemicals. They took a lot of notes. When they finally finished, it was already 6pm.

Jeremy looked at the time and stood. “Well, I should head out. Tomorrow we can figure out which fish could live in the pond, and the levels of chemicals needed to be dangerous to them.”

Michael nodded. “Okay, see you tomorrow Jeremy.”

This time when Jeremy walked out of Michael’s house, we felt guilty. _I’m sorry that I got carried away with Michael…_

**I forgive you Jeremy. I know it’s hard to set aside your attachments to him. That’s why I’m here to help when you slip up.**

_I know, and I’m really grateful that you’re helping me… It’s just hard sometimes._

**I understand, but I can assure you that it will all be worth it in the end. If you truly want to let go of Michael, you have to make sure he never tries to come back.**

_How can I do that?_  
****

**Just trust me Jeremy.**

_Okay._


	3. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold is the SQUIP's dialogue  
> Italicized is Jeremy talking in his head to the SQUIP

The next day, Jeremy waited around for ten minutes after school for Michael so they could head over to his house. By the time Michael finally arrived at his car, Jeremy was a little annoyed. 

“It’s about time you got here!” Jeremy said. “What were you doing?” he noticed then that Michael looked a bit flustered, and his face was red.

“Sorry, Mr. Battoff wanted to talk to me after school. I tried to get out of there as soon as I could.”

Now Jeremy was confused. “Why did he want to talk to you?” he asked.

Michael shrugged. “He just wanted to know how the project was going, and how I was doing. It was kind of embarrassing to be honest. Apparently he found out that I dropped out of the gaming club, and… well we talked about some other things, it seemed like a weird interrogation.”

“You left the gaming club? How come?” asked Jeremy.

“Well… We were planning on going to comic con next month, but I changed my mind, and they’ve been kind of sour about it, so…” Michael trailed off.

Jeremy raised his eyebrows. “You’ve been talking about comic con since forever! Why aren’t you going?!”

Michael swallowed nervously and then scoffed. “I just don’t want to go okay?! It’s next month and I didn’t… You know what? It doesn’t matter, you aren’t planning on going are you?”

Jeremy sighed. “No, but…” he stopped, realizing that he had no right to be interrogating Michael about dropping stuff. So he shrugged, muttering an, “Okay, you win.” and got into the car, Michael following.

The car ride silent for the first minute or two, until Michael glanced at Jeremy and said, “You haven’t been looking for a car, have you?”

Jeremy was thoughtful for a moment, before responding, “I’d like to have one for senior year, why?”

Michael shrugged. “Maybe you could have my car…”

At this, Jeremy stared at Michael. “But… Don’t you need this car?”

“No… I mean I’ve been thinking of getting a new one maybe, so you could have this one.” Michael said. He glanced at Jeremy with a smile. “What do you say?”

Jeremy shrugged. “Yeah, maybe.”

When they arrived at Michael’s house, they got out their textbooks and immediately got to work. The next hour was spent going over a checklist of fish, and the pond results from yesterday.

* * *

By the time they had gotten enough information to write their report, Jeremy felt like his brain had been fried. “Ugh, I can’t think anymore!” he said, spaced out.”

Michael sighed. “Yeah, this was exhausting. I don’t envy anyone who actually majors in this stuff.” 

Jeremy laughed. “Oh my god, I can’t even imagine! I’ve only been doing this for an hour, and I already want to turn my brain off. And how useful is studying fish anyway?”

Michael raised an eyebrow and smiled. “If you can find any major that’s more pointing than fish science, let minnow!”

Jeremy punched Michael lightly on the shoulder and laughed. “Stop, you’re kraken me up!”

“Come on, I’m just trying to be koi!” Michael shot back, which earned another fit of laughter from Jeremy.

**While this is… Quite entertaining Jeremy, you should get back. Your project is coming along nicely and we don’t want it ruined by a lack sleep.**

_Right…_ Jeremy cleared his throat and stood. “Well, I should get going.”  
 ****

“W-wait!” said Michael. “You don’t have to go now. Can’t you stay a little longer? Maybe we could catch up… play some video games…” he looked hopeful.

Jeremy hesitated. _Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to hang out… I’m not doing anything else, and no one has to know!_

**That’s not the point. If you do this, you’ll only be encouraging him! What if he tries to talk to you at school? There’s no benefit to this Jeremy, and you know it.**

Jeremy sighed and shook his head at Michael. He turned to go, but Michael grabbed his hand. Surprised, Jeremy turned and saw Michael with a pleading look in his eye.

“Please Jeremy! I know you have your own thing now, but can we please play together one last time?!”

Jeremy didn’t know what to do. He was so conflicted, and Michael’s desperation certainly wasn’t helping. When Michael saw that in Jeremy’s eyes, he said, “I know the SQUIP is telling you not to, but can you please ignore it just this once?”

Jeremy froze. The SQUIP took the opportunity immediately.

**You see Jeremy? Michael just wants to get rid of me. He wants you all to himself because he’s nothing without you, and he knows it. He just wants to bring you down with him.**

Jeremy pulled his hand harshly away from Michael, and glared at him so fiercely, that Michael took a step back.

**Repeat after me Jeremy… You thought that anything changed between us?**

“You thought that anything changed between us?”  
 ****

**You’re right, I do have my own thing.**

“You’re right, I do have my own thing.”

**And you’re not apart of it.**

“And you’re not apart of it.”

**The only reason I’m here, is because of the project.**

“The only reason I’m here, is because of the project.”

**I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to be.**

“I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to be.”

**So don’t try to make it something else!**

“So don’t try to make it something else!”  
 ****

Jeremy took a deep breath and looked at Michael. To his surprise, he didn’t seem to have much of a reaction. Michael just nodded slowly.

“R-right, I’m sorry.” he stuttered. “Of course this is for the project.” Michael smiled and let out a little laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get a good grade.”

It was silent between the two for a moment after that, and Michael adjusted his glasses awkwardly. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” he said.

Jeremy nodded. “Okay, good.” He walked out, feeling accomplished, but also a feeling of regret in the pit of his stomach. _I kind of wish I hadn’t done that._ He thought as he walked home.

**I wish we didn’t have to Jeremy, but he’s just too persistent. He needs to move on.**

_But we’ve been friends for years! If I just drop him, of course he’s not going to just move on!_   
****

**Haven’t you though?**

_Well, not exactly… I mean, I’m hanging out with other people, but that doesn’t mean my friendship with him is over forever!_   
****

**We’ve ignored him for weeks, insulted him at that party, and just now you told him you don’t want him apart of your life anymore. If that doesn’t signify the end of a friendship…**

_No! I just meant I had other things, that Michael isn’t… We don’t have to everything together! Once high school ends, we’ll have all of college to hang out, we can catch up then._   
****

**If you say so Jeremy…**

Jeremy made it home and walked inside. His dad was no doubt still in bed, so he just called out that he was back, and went down into the basement. His collection of games had started to get dusty after almost a month of neglect.  
 ****

Jeremy sat in his beanbag, wishfully looking at the empty beanbag beside him. _What am I doing?_

**You seem to be having an episode of nostalgia. I would recommend-**

_Be quiet, that’s not what I meant!_   
****

**Ah, you must be having an existential crisis then. Well, I can tell you what you’re doing Jeremy. You’re… Surviving, and thriving!**

_Am I? Is this really thriving?_   
****

**For a high school student? Yes it is.**

_But… What about after that?_

**Jeremy… You wanted to be popular. Considering that popularity doesn’t matter all after high school, especially since the social ranking gets all but reset in college, I’d say you weren’t really thinking about after high school, were you?**

_No, I guess I wasn’t…_   
****

**But what will matter after high school is your relationship… With Christine! Soon we can get back on track to getting her. Michael will always be there, but she’s a once in a lifetime girl, and this is your one chance to have her.**

Jeremy took in the SQUIP’s words, and considered them. It was true… He would always have Michael, but Christine? _Fine, but I still want to apologize to Michael, for the things that weren’t necessary to our goal._  
 ****

**If that’s want you want, then I won’t stop you.**

Jeremy nodded and yawned. Not wanting to go all the way up to his room, he just took a second to get comfortable in the beanbag. When he fell asleep, Jeremy dreamed about all the times he’d spent with Michael over the years.  
 ****


	4. Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this chapter being so short. I'll make up for it in the next one though. Think of this as kind of an interlude.

This time, they met at Jeremy’s house to do the project. Jeremy was afraid that it would be awkward after what happened yesterday, but it seemed to be the opposite. Michael was acting as if absolutely nothing was wrong. He enthusiastically helped Jeremy with the report, recalling facts that they hadn’t written down in the notes, and even coming up with creative ways to make the oral report more interesting. 

Despite Michael’s enthusiasm, Jeremy noticed that he looked extremely tired. He remembered how Michael looked on Tuesday morning, and felt bad for what he had said last night.

“Um, Michael…” Jeremy said. “I’m sorry for the things I said last night, and at the party.”

Michael looked at Jeremy for a moment, before shrugging. “It’s fine. I get it, you’ve moved on.”

Jeremy shook his head. “I didn’t mean it like that, I just…” he looked at Michael sadly. “High school is just really hard, and I wanted to have a memorable experience. Broaden my horizons, you know? I just got a little too caught up in it though. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Michael nodded. “Okay, thank you for the apology.”

After that, they continued to work on the project. Jeremy was more comfortable now that he had cleared the air, and they worked until the project was done. Jeremy felt a deep feeling of satisfaction, and he turned to look at Michael, who was smiling warmly at him.

“Well, we did it.” said Jeremy.

“Yep, I really think this is A+ material.” responded Michael. “You’ll definitely pass this one.”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, we’ve got this one in the bag, we still make a great team.”

“Sure, but you’d make a great team with just about anybody!” said Michael with a chuckle. “Jake, Rich, Dustin, and even Christine. You’ll be just fine with them around.”

Jeremy was about to respond when Michael’s phone went off. Michael checked it, and then stood. “Sorry Jeremy, that was my mom. She wants me home for dinner.”

The two of them walked upstairs. When they came to the door. Michael sighed. “This week was great. I’m so glad I was able to do the project with you, and just... spend time with you.”

“Yeah, it was fun working with you.” said Jeremy. “I’ll see you later.”

Michael smiled, and paused to look at Jeremy for a moment, before walking out the door.

Jeremy went back down to the basement and saw that Michael had left his laptop. He was about to text Michael, when he saw a piece of paper attached. it read, “For you :)” And below was what Jeremy recognized as Michael’s login information for Steam.

Now Jeremy was extremely confused, did Michael want him to try a new game? He wouldn’t need Michael’s laptop for that though… He didn’t have an answer, but he figured he would just ask Michael about it tomorrow.


	5. Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold is the SQUIP's dialogue  
> Italicized is Jeremy talking in his head to the SQUIP
> 
> WARNING: This chapter gets dark, and some people may be triggered by its content.

Jeremy arrived at school on Friday with all of the project materials ready to go. He had experiment notes, a written report on the results, and notecards for the oral report. He sat down at his desk and looked around for Michael, but he was nowhere to be seen. Confused, since it was almost time for class, Jeremy took out his phone and messaged Michael, asking where he was. About a minute later, he got a response. 

Michael Mell: Sick today, sorry. Good luck on the report!

Jeremy sighed and put his phone away, a bit bitter that he would have to give the oral report. Nevertheless, he focused on the notecards so that he would be ready when it was his turn.

**It’s just like Michael to leave you with all the responsibility at the last minute, isn’t it?**

_What? No! Michael’s not like that! Besides, he’s sick._  
****

**I don’t know, it seems to me that he’s ditching you.**

_He’s been nothing but helpful this whole time, and the oral report isn’t that big a deal. Stop trying to make this something that it’s not._  
****

The SQUIP remained silent, and Jeremy was able to study the notecards in peace. A few minutes later, the class began. There were two people that went ahead of him, and then it was Jeremy’s turn. He got up and described what they did for the project. He went over the experiment, testing, results, and conclusion that they reached.

He then went into an addition that Michael had added on Thursday, by talking about ways to use the information to positively affect the environment, like testing different bodies of water. When he finished, the class applauded, and Jeremy sat down.

The rest of the day went by quickly. Jeremy ate with Jake, Dustin, and Jenna. He thought he had more food than usual at first, but then realized it was because he had been giving part of his lunch to Michael recently.

Jeremy thought it was weird that Michael still hadn’t talked to someone about getting his lunch card renewed. His thoughts were interrupted by Jake inviting him to his aunt’s house to celebrate the end of the project.

“It’s just gonna be me, you, and Dustin, so hopefully it’ll go better than my last party.” he said, with a half humorous, half pained expression.

“Oh, sure. That sounds fun.” said Jeremy.

Dustin patted Jeremy on the shoulder. “You bet it’ll be fun! Although I don’t know what Jake’s celebrating. I did all the work.”

Jake tipped his head back and groaned. “That’s because whenever I tried to help, you practically had a stroke whenever I did anything!” 

Dustin laughed. “Well maybe if you weren’t known for the lab accident of 2014…”

“That was ONE time!” Jake said indignantly, but he couldn’t hold back a smile.

Jeremy finished his lunch and headed to his next class. It wasn’t until the end of the day when he was putting his stuff away that he got an email from his science teacher, saying that he and Michael had gotten a 96% on the project. Jeremy nearly jumped in the air with joy, and immediately forwarded the email to Michael.

He felt kind of bad that Michael was stuck at home. With both of his parents working, he would all by himself. Maybe they could have a little celebration of their own, or at least Jeremy could make sure Michael had everything he needed, and keep him company.

**Jeremy, are you crazy?! We have to go to Jake’s! This is your chance to get him with Jenna!**

_What are you talking about?_  
****

**You can ask him what he thinks of Jenna, and then tell her about it. Then you can talk about Jenna’s good qualities, and vice versa. This would be the best opportunity to begin the process of getting them together. Then, we’re one step closer to… Christine.**

_But…_  
****

**And besides, you already told Jake that you were coming. You don’t want him to think you’re rude, or that you’d rather hang out with Michael than him, would you?**

Jeremy thought about this. It was true that he had already told Jake that he would be there, so he would have to admit to Jake that he changed his mind, and then Jake would probably want to know why. Maybe it would be better to go with Jake. Michael would be fine, and Jeremy could go over there tomorrow. _Why did this have to be so hard?_  
****

**It doesn’t have to be hard if you just listen to me!**

He ignored the SQUIP, finished putting his books in his locker, and headed outside, where Jeremy and Dustin were waiting.

“You ready to go?” asked Jake.

Jeremy paused, still trying to make a decision. Finally, he took a deep breath and said, “Sorry Jake, but I’m actually gonna pass on this one. Michael’s not feeling too hot today, so I’m going to see how he’s doing.” he winced, nervous about how Jake would respond.

Jake’s shoulders sagged, and then he feigned annoyance. “Aw, ditching me for another guy? That’s super rude man…”

“Come on Jake,” said Dustin. “I think it’s sweet that Jeremy cares about his friend. I hope you would do the same for me if I was dying.”

Jake scoffed. “And catch whatever sick disease you had? Not a chance!” He turned to Jeremy and shrugged. “Whatever, it’s cool. I’ll text you the address in case you want to come later.”

Jeremy nodded and watched them go.

**What are you doing?! I told you-**

_Well, they didn’t react badly, and I think Michael deserves to be given the time of day every once in awhile after everything that’s happened._  
****

**If you want to complete your goal, you must do as I instruct Jeremy.**

_And I have. This one time won’t make a difference. I’m not your slave! You’re supposed to be helping me._  
****

**Yes, but you also must play your part by obeying.**

Jeremy felt a small shock, and yelped. _Hey! I’m not doing anything that makes me less “chill”, so you have no right to do that._  
****

**Jeremy…**

_No, if you can’t handle me being a decent person, then deactivate until I’m done at Michael’s. Then we’ll get to the plan, got it?_  
****

**Very well, but don’t blame me if our progress falls through the tubes.**

Jeremy rolled his eyes as the SQUIP went offline.

* * *

He rode the bus and got off at the stop closest to Michael’s house. When he got there, Jeremy went up to the front door and knocked. He waited for minute, but there was no answer.

He fished a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door, The two of them had keys to each other’s houses, and he just happened to still have Michael’s in his backpack.

When Jeremy walked inside, the first thing he did was take Michael’s laptop out of his bag and set it on the table. The house was dark except for a sliver of light coming from under the basement door. Jeremy walked over and opened it quietly, in case Michael was sleeping.

He walked down the stairs, and when he rounded the corner into the room, Jeremy stopped dead in his tracks. His expression changed to one of absolute horror.

Michael was standing on a stool under a medal pipe that was attached to the ceiling. Around his neck was a noose. He stood on his tiptoes, tightening the other end of the rope, which was tied to the pipe above him. Somehow, Michael hadn’t noticed him yet, until Jeremy let out a gasp.

Suddenly, Michael whipped his head in Jeremy’s direction, shocked to find someone else in the room with him. He jolted in his surprise, and was caught off balance. Jeremy watched as Michael wobbled, the stool starting to tip.

Jeremy realized what was about to happen, and dashed across the room in a panic. At the same time, the stool tipped over, and Michael fell.

Michael let out a choked gurgling sound as he hanged, but Jeremy reached him only a couple of seconds later. He grabbed Michael and held him up as high as he could as he reached for the stool and set it upright. Michael coughed as the pressure of the rope let up.

Jeremy shakily stood on the stool, and with one arm still wrapped around Michael’s waist, began to loosen the noose. He tried not to focus on Michael’s face, but he didn’t miss his dazed expression. After some effort, Jeremy slipped the noose over Michael’s head. He stepped off the stool, lowering Michael carefully. Unsurprisingly, they both crumpled to the ground.

Jeremy was sitting on his knees, the rush of adrenaline he had felt draining away. He shook with fear, and he could hear Michael gasping for breath beside him. Jeremy glanced over to see him sitting with his legs out in front of him, holding his throat with a pained and slightly unfocused expression on his face.

As Jeremy’s brain began to process what had just happened, tears began to fill his eyes, and he had to cover his mouth to keep from sobbing. Michael seemed to be recovering as his breathing became less labored, and Jeremy assumed we was becoming aware of his surroundings.

After a few moments of silence, Michael spoke, his voice raspy. “W… what’re y-you doing here?” he asked quietly.

Jeremy felt a rush of anger. He uncovered his mouth and turned to Michael. “Apparently saving your-” He cut off with a sob he had been holding back. Jeremy reached for Michael and, when he didn’t protest, pulled him close into a hug.

Michael remained silent as Jeremy cried, holding onto Michael tightly. “Why d-didn’t you t-tell me?!” Jeremy sobbed.

“I’m sorry…” Michael whispered.

Jeremy stopped crying a minute later, and went into business mode. He stood and helped Michael to his feet, and led him over to the couch. Michael sat down. When Jeremy noticed that Michael looked like he was hot, he helped him get out of his red hoodie.

Jeremy then stood in front of Michael, asking him questions about his breathing, and about today’s date. Michael answered them, and then said that he felt fine except for a small headache.

Jeremy nodded, and looked from him to the stool and noose with fear in his eyes. When he looked back, Michael averted his eyes, looking guilty. “Michael..” he began, but didn’t even know what to say.

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t…” Michael stammered, his voice telling Jeremy that he was on the verge of a breakdown.

“Didn’t what? Didn’t mean it?!” asked Jeremy, his voice rising. He was trying not to sound angry, but even he didn’t know what emotion he was feeling.

Michael shook his head. “No, I mean… I didn’t… m-mean for you to… I didn’t know you would come here. I thought…” he trailed off, realizing that was even worse.

Jeremy inhaled sharply, not even knowing how to respond to that. “So what, you wanted your parents to find you, and then I would just…” his voice shook and he let out a sarcastic, “What? Find out over the school intercom on Monday?!”

Michael looked away. “It wasn’t supposed to… I’m sorry okay?!” he hiccuped as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“I mean, I was with you all week and never ONCE did you tell me!” Jeremy shouted.

“Well, yeah! You weren’t supposed to know at all!” Michael shouted back. “But then this stupid project messed it all up!”

Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?” he asked, trying to lower his voice.

Michael sighed. “I… I was going to do this on Monday after school, but then we got assigned as partners, and I couldn’t let it mess up your grade, so I decided to wait until the project was over.”

Jeremy’s eyes widened. His mind went over the events of the past few days, pinpointing a number of strange behaviors that suddenly made sense. Then he realized that Michael was right. If he had done it last Monday, how long would it have been before Jeremy even found out about it. And lastly, another thought dawned on him.

“You did this… Because of m-” Jeremy began, before Michael interrupted.

“No! It wasn’t because of you!” he protested. “I’ve been feeling… bad... for a long time, but I could always control it with you around. When you went away…” he trailed off.

“Yeah, like I said, because of me.” said Jeremy, devastated.

“But look!” Michael pointed out. “This week you came back, and the feeling didn’t lessen. In the end, I still…” he trailed off again, not being able to finish.

Jeremy stared at Michael. He still felt 100% responsible, but he wasn’t about to make this about him. Michael still needed help.

“Michael, I think you should go to the hospital…” Jeremy began. Michael’s eyes widened in horror, but Jeremy held up his hand before he could protest. “We need to make sure nothing happened from the… on the physical side of things, and then you need to talk about this with a doctor.”

Michael looked afraid. “But… they’ll lock me up.”

“Maybe, but only for a few days at most.” Jeremy responded.

Michael looked confused. “How do you know that?” he asked.

Jeremy looked away. “My mom had some… issues before she left, not that I knew what was going on at the time, but…” he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. You’ll be okay.”

Michael nodded numbly, fiddling with his fingers. “I don’t think I can drive right now though…”

Jeremy let out a shaky laugh. “I’m going to drive you dork!” He reached out his hand and Michael stood to his feet. They walked up the basement stairs, Jeremy keeping Michael steady, and they made it out the front door.

When they got to Michael’s car, Jeremy helped Michael into his seat and then got in himself. Jeremy then started the car, and they were on their way.

At some point when they were on the road, Michael pulled down the car mirror, and looked at his neck. There was a faint mark from the rope, but it was fading. He rubbed it gently, and sighed. “I’m sorry Jeremy…” he said again softly.

Jeremy glanced at Michael nervously. “Are you? Or are you sorry that I… found you?”

Michael didn’t answer for a few seconds, but eventually said honestly, “I don’t know yet.” his voice shook, and he averted his eyes, worried that Jeremy would be angry at his answer.

Jeremy just nodded and used one of his hands to take Michael’s and squeeze it gently. “It’s okay Mikey. I’ll be here for you until you can be glad that I came in time.”

Michael gave a small smile, and as he drove on, Jeremy realized that he was completely willing to watch over Michael as long as it took, to keep him safe. He would make sure that this would never happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh... This was really hard to write, and even harder to post. Yes, this was planned from the beginning, but I just didn't know if I was going to be able to convey the seriousness of what happened, and the emotions correctly. I'm also nervous about how people will respond, because this type of thing does make some people uncomfortable, and I don't want to come off as disrespectful about the issue of mental health. 
> 
> This isn't the end of the story btw. In fact, I want to write all about Michael's recovery, with Jeremy right by his side. Consider this the end of Act 1, so if you've been saving your comments until the end, you can tell me now what you think so far.


	6. The Weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold is the SQUIP's dialogue  
> Italicized is Jeremy talking in his head to the SQUIP

Jeremy walked into Michael’s house and yawned, looking around curiously. He was a little tired after having so much fun with Jake and Dustin. On his way home, he had decided to check on Michael. 

“Michael?” Jeremy called. “Where are you?” he waited for an answer, but none came. He looked around and noticed the basement door. A sliver of light shined from under it.

Jeremy walked over and opened the door. “Are you down there Michael?” he asked.

There was no answer. Shrugging, Jeremy made his way down the stairs. When he got to the bottom, he scanned the basement. The red of Michael’s hoodie caught his eye, and Jeremy looked over to it, and screamed.

Michael was hanging from a noose. His brown eyes, which were slightly open, contrasted against his now gray tinted face. Michael’s bright eyes were now dull and lifeless.

Jeremy sank to his knees, unable to remove his gaze from Michael’s body. He fought the urge to vomit. “N-no… No! Please! Oh god, Michael!!!” His pleading turned into desperate screams as he sobbed, but nothing could bring Michael back. His best friend was gone.

 

Jeremy woke with a gasp. After a few seconds of panic, he remembered what had happened, and began to calm down. Jeremy put his fingers to his face, and found it wet with tears. He sighed shakily. _It’s okay… Michael’s alive. I got to him in time._ Jeremy told himself.

He went over yesterday’s events in his head. When he and Michael had arrived at the hospital, Michael was examined by a doctor, and given a clean bill of health, more or less.

Jeremy had called Michael’s parents, and waited with Michael until they arrived. There had been a lot of crying, hugging, and Michael being extremely uncomfortable, before they even addressed the doctor. Eventually, they had left Michael with Jeremy to talk out in the hall with the doctor. They had come back in a few minutes later with their decision.

Michael was soon signed up for a weekend stay at the hospital’s psychiatric ward. Jeremy had hugged Michael, reassuring him that everything would be okay.

Jeremy shuttered, recalling Michael’s look of fear and uncertainty. He then remembered driving home in Michael’s car, and going to bed, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Sighing, Jeremy closed his eyes, taking in the warmth of the morning light streaming through the window, and then got out of bed. He put on fresh clothes and combed his messy hair.

When he opened the door, he was surprised to see his dad standing in front of him. Before Jeremy could react, his dad wrapped his arms around him in a hug.

“Jeremy, Michael’s parents told me what happened. I’m so sorry.” he said.

Jeremy felt a little uncomfortable at the hug, but slowly began to feel a little better. “Thanks dad.” he mumbled.

When he was finally let go, Jeremy went to have breakfast. Right before he could take his first bite, a holographic Keanu Reaves appeared next to him. His SQUIP had reactivated.

**Well Jeremy, it seems you’ve finished your little courtesy call on Michael. Please wait while I review the footage from the time I was gone.**

Before Jeremy could stop him, the SQUIP’s eyes glazed over for a few seconds, and his face soon morphed into one of shock.

**Oh…**

_Yeah, oh._  
****

**Jeremy… I don’t know what to say.**

_What, you’re not going turn this into a way to get Christine?_

**Well, there could be a way, but it would be risky, and I have no doubt that you would object to such a proposition, so I’m not going to bother.**

_If I had listened to you, Michael would be dead right now!_  
****

**Yes, that would’ve been very unfortunate.**

_That’s all you have to say?!_

**I’m a computer Jeremy. I don’t have emotional connections to anything or anyone, not even you. I recognize your connection to Michael, and I now believe that he is necessary for you to complete your goal.**

_How dare you-_  
****

**Hear me out please. I mean that… I know you care for him, and it would be unwise for me to interfere with you two, because if something happens to Michael, you would be too affected to even think about relationships.**

_What are you getting at?_  
****

**I’m just letting you know that I will no longer interfere in your relationship with Michael, and I will try to accommodate him into our plan to get Christine.**

_Oh, well… Good!_  
****

The SQUIP nodded, and cleared his throat. **Also, I can tell that you’ve been quite affected by what happened, and while that is understandable, the chances of Michael making it through this crisis are higher than you might think. The support of his loved ones combined with his natural determination make those chances even higher.**

Jeremy stared at the SQUIP as he finished speaking and disappeared. He… it… actually said something sympathetic and encouraging. Before he could think about anymore, Jeremy’s dad walked in.  
****

“So Jeremy, when you’re done, we can figure out what to do today.” he said.

Jeremy was confused. “What do you mean?” he asked.

Jeremy’s dad sat down at the table across from him. “Well, I was hoping that you and I could spend the day together. It would get your mind off…” he trailed off.

“Ah, I get it.” said Jeremy bitterly.

“Jeremy, don’t take it the wrong way.” his dad said. “I’ve realized that I haven’t been that great of a dad recently. I’m trying to be better, and I know that you either want to lay in bed all day, or visit Michael. Both of those would do no good for either of you.”

Jeremy wanted to argue with his dad, but deep down, he knew that it was true. He sighed. “Okay, I guess hanging out with my old man won’t be so bad.”

His dad smiled, and soon they were planning out the perfect father/son day, which turned out to be much harder than either of them thought.

“How about fishing?”

“A little too old fashioned…”

“Grilling?”

“Hmm… Do we have a grill?” 

“Video games?”

“To keep my mind off Michael, great idea!” 

“What if we sit on the couch and go through old family photo albums?”

“Is fishing still an option?” 

Jeremy’s dad realized more and more how disconnected he was from his son. If they couldn’t find a single activity to do together, how was their relationship ever going to improve? Jeremy noticed that his was starting to become discouraged, and thought hard for an idea.

“Hey,” he finally said. “What if we marathon the Star Wars movies together? I’ve watched them Michael a bunch, but you were the first one I watched them with.”

Jeremy’s dad loved the idea. They both went into the living room and sat on the couch. Jeremy popped in “The Phantom Menace” into the DVD player, and settled in.

When it was lunchtime, Jeremy and his dad make taco dip together, a family signature recipe. Around 11pm, they finished “The Force Awakens” and relished in their accomplishment.

Jeremy yawned as he got up and headed to bed, but not before turning around and saying, “This was a great day, thanks dad.” He went into his room, missing his dad’s teary smile.

* * *

 The next day, Jeremy pretty much laid around the house all day. He knew that his dad didn’t want him doing that, but he couldn’t help it. He did try to be productive. 

Jeremy researched things about depression and suicide recovery on the internet. There wasn’t much he could do, except be supportive.

His research was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. He looked to see that Jake was calling him. Jeremy picked up.

“Hey dude,” said Jake. “You missed a great party on Friday, it was a blast!”

“Oh… bummer, well maybe next time, huh?” Jeremy responded.

“You got it! So did you make Michael some chicken soup when you were over there?” Jake asked sarcastically. “I sure hope you’re willing to catch whatever thing he had. You never came over so I suppose you stayed awhile.”

Jeremy winced and tried to keep his voice level. “Yeah uh, Michael needed some help, so…”

“Oh, well…” Jake hesitated, and Jeremy wondered if he hadn’t hidden the shakiness in his voice well enough. “Good thing you went over there then. Hope he feels better soon.” he continued.

Jeremy almost laughed. “Me too.”

There was an awkward silence between the two of them, before Jeremy asked. “So, do you have any idea how Rich is doing?”

Jake sighed. “I saw him last week. He’s still in the hospital… And he just seemed really out of it, you know? He doesn't remember anything from that night. I’m going to see him today actually.” he paused. “Hopefully he gets better soon too.” he finished sadly.

They talked for a few more minutes about other things, before hanging up. Then Jeremy went back to doing nothing.

Later that day, Jeremy finally got a call from Michael’s mom, telling him that Michael was at home. She asked if he wanted to come over, and he agreed.

However, in between hanging up the phone and heading out the door, Jeremy started to panic. He had to sit down to catch his breath. Jeremy’s dad noticed his son’s discomfort, and asked him what was wrong.

“I want to go see Michael, but I don’t know if I can!” said Jeremy, trying not to cry. “What if I say the wrong thing? What if Michael is still… I don’t know if I can deal with this. I don’t know how to help him! What if I just make things worse?! I can’t do this!!!”

Jeremy’s dad hugged him and said, “It’s okay Jeremy. You’re Michael’s best friend, and I know that he’ll be glad to see you. Remember when he was there for you when your mother left? It didn’t matter what he did or said. Simply having him there made things better, right?”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks dad.” He wiped his tears, and left for Michael’s

When he got there, Jeremy went up to the front door and knocked. Within a few seconds, Michael answered the door. They stared at each other for a few moments, before Jeremy stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Michael.

Michael leaned into the embrace, and sighed deeply as if it relieved some pressure inside of him.

When Jeremy let go, Michael led him inside and they sat down on the couch. Jeremy noticed that Michael’s neck was still a little red, but not enough that someone would notice unless they looked closely and even knew what to look for.

“Does it hurt?” asked Jeremy, gesturing to his own neck to let Michael know what he was talking about.

Michael shook his head. “It just feels a little raw. I’ve had to lay with a washcloth over it when I sleep, but tonight’s the last night I have to do that.” Then he blushed and rubbed his neck self consciously. “Sometimes I feel this pressure of a rope that isn’t there, but the doctor said it’s a normal thing that should go away soon. My brain’s just trying to get itself together.”

Jeremy nodded and looked around the house, suddenly realizing that it was just the two of them. “Where are your parents?” he asked.

Michael shrugged. “My dad’s at work, and my mom went to the store I think.”

Jeremy’s jaw dropped. “So they just left you here by yourself?” he was shocked that they would do that after what happened. Michael literally just got back.

“Well, I think that’s why my mom called you…” Michael said. “And I’m not…” he trailed off. “I’d never be able to work up the nerve to try again so soon after getting caught.”

Jeremy felt like he was about to cry. “So you still… you still want to die?” his voice trembled.

Michael didn’t answer at first, but played with the strings of his hoodie. Eventually, he shook his head. “I don’t know. My hospital stay did help some, and I have some medication to take now, so… I don’t think I feel so set on it anymore. I just meant that even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to try again, especially since I knew that you were on your way.”

Jeremy nodded, trying to be content with Michael’s answer. “You have medication to take now?” he asked.

Michael nodded as he stood up and walked over to the counter. He picked up a bottle of pills and shook them. “Antidepressants,” he said. “I gotta take them every day.” Michael set the bottle back down and smiled at Jeremy sadly. “And I thought I was all messed up before…”

“Don’t say that.” said Jeremy. “There’s nothing wrong with being on medication. I used to take anxiety medication, remember?”

Michael sighed and sat back down. “I guess. I just wish I could feel better on my own.”

“Well, that’s not how it works.” said Jeremy putting his arm around Michael. “That’s why I’m going to help you.”

Before Michael could protest, Jeremy took his hands and lifted Michael off of couch.

“Come on.” he said. “We’re going to have some fun.” 

Jeremy and Michael went outside and got into the car. Michael tried to ask where they were going, but Jeremy wanted it to be a surprise. Michael feigned annoyance, but he couldn’t hold back his smile. A few minutes later, they arrived at the movie theater.

After getting out of the the car, Michael followed Jeremy inside. They got to the front, and Jeremy said, “Two tickets for ‘The Last Jedi’ please.”

Michael’s mouth fell open. “Really? Oh my gosh Jeremy! Thank you!” he said, nearly squealing with excitement. “Wait, have you seen it yet?”

Jeremy shook his head. “No, I was… Waiting to see it with you!”

At Michael skeptical glance, Jeremy blushed. “Okay,” he admitted. “I was too nervous to see it when I was friends with Jake and the others.”

“Why would they think Star Wars is lame?” asked Michael.

Jeremy shrugged. “I don’t know, I didn’t want to risk it.”

“Geez, and I thought I had issues…” Michael said

Jeremy stared at Michael. “Seriously? I think being scared to be yourself around popular people is a little less serious than…” he stopped. “Let’s not talk about issues, we’re here to have fun!”

Michael shrugged, and after getting popcorn, they head in to see the movie. Two hours later, they left with… Mixed opinions.

“I’m so sorry I brought you here Michael, if I had know how terrible it was-”

“What are you talking about, that movie was awesome!”

“You’re kidding right? It was so bad! Worse than the prequels! You sure those meds aren’t just making you think it’s good?”

“Wow Jeremiah… Thanks for psyching me out about the medication before I even started taking it. Now whenever I’m happy, I’ll just think it’s the pills.”

“Wait what?! No! That’s not… Forget I said it, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine. It’s just what i’d expect from a hater of the best Star Wars movie yet!”

This made both of them burst out into laughter as they exited the theater. They got back on the road, but Michael looked at Jeremy in confusion when he turned in the opposite direction of home. “Uh, where are we going?” he asked.

“You’ll see. Let’s just say I’ll take you someplace so we can wash out the horrible taste of that movie.” he said with a wink.

They soon arrived at a 7/11, and Michael instantly knew what would come next. Within a few minutes they had colorful slushys, and wide smiles.

Jeremy had really missed hanging out with Michael, and he got chills whenever he thought about what life would’ve been like without him. He glanced at Michael nervously, but his friend was sipping his slushy, eyes closed with sweet satisfaction.

After they were done, Michael and Jeremy went home. Michael thanked him for how much fun he’d had, and after convincing Jeremy that he didn’t need to spend the night, Jeremy walked home, leaving Michael’s car.

When Jeremy was getting ready for bed, he sighed with relief at how well the day had gone. He thought that, maybe, he would be able to help Michael though this after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate chapter title: Stars Wars heals the brokenhearted 
> 
> Welcome to Act 2 everybody! Michael's recovery is in full swing, and I hope to make it realistic and heartfelt. I can't cover every aspect since the story is from Jeremy's perspective, but maybe sometime I'll do a version of The Project from Michael's POV, who knows?


	7. A Making Point and a Breaking Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold is the SQUIP's dialogue  
> Italicized is Jeremy talking in his head to the SQUIP

When Jeremy was getting out his books at school the next day, the last person he expected to see was Michael. But there he was, walking up to him with a small smile.

“Hey Jeremy.” he said.

For a moment, Jeremy just stared at him, then he recovered and said, “Michael! I didn’t think you’d be back at school so soon.” he said uncertainly.

Michael shrugged. “My parents don’t want me to miss school. Besides, the last thing I need is for someone to notice my absence and want to know why.”

Jeremy nodded in agreement and smiled. “Well, It’s great that you feel well enough to come back to school.”

“Well, I didn’t have a problem coming when I was planning it.” Michael remarked. When Jeremy’s face went pale, Michael’s eyes widened. “Oh, sorry. I just… I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry Jeremy.” he looked really guilty.

Jeremy laughed awkwardly. “Don’t worry Michael. I just hate hearing you talk so casually about it. But if that helps you…” he began, remembering reading about it being a way some coped.

“It doesn’t really, I just said it without thinking.” Michael said, embarrassed.

Jeremy sighed. “Well, in any case, we can’t pretend that it didn’t happen. So I’ll try not to let it freak me out when you talk about it.”

Michael nodded, and went to class.

Throughout first period, Jeremy found it hard to pay attention to the teacher. He couldn’t stop worrying about Michael, despite there being no possible way he could do something during school. He did his best to focus. Finally, it was time for lunch.

Jeremy’s eyes scanned the cafeteria, and as soon as Michael entered, Jeremy ran up to him. “Hey Michael, how are your classes going so far?” he asked.

Michael shrugged. “Fine.”

Jeremy nodded and put his arm around Michael. “That’s great! Come on, you’re going to eat with us.” he said enthusiastically.

Michael looked over at the table nervously. “I don’t know…” he said uncertainly.

“Don’t worry, they know about you!” Jeremy tried to reassure him.

Instead Michael looked at him, horrified, and Jeremy realized what he must have thought. He put his hands up and shook his head. “Oh no, they don’t know about… What you did. They know that you were my science partner.” he explained.

Michael sighed in relief, and after a moment, agreed to go with Jeremy. The two of them headed over to a table where Jake, Jenna, and Dustin sat.

“Hey guys, this is Michael, my partner for the science project.” Jeremy said.

Jake nodded at him. “Hey, glad to see you’re feeling better. Jeremy said you were sick.”

Michael nodded and began to eat. Jeremy noticed that he was uncomfortable, and was about to say something when Jake stepped in.

“So Michael, I heard you’re giving Dustin a run for his money as the best partner to have for the little project.” he said.

Michael looked at Dustin and shrugged. “I don’t know, have you saved your partner’s life?”

Jake and Dustin stopped eating and stared at Michael. Jeremy looked at him confused for a second, then his eyes widened and he laughed.

“Wait, are you talking about the pond Michael? Oh my gosh!” he said, still laughing.

Jake squinted at the two of them. “Uh… you guys want to fill us in?”

Trying to speak through his laughter, Jeremy explained how Michael “saved him” from falling into the pond. By the end of it, both Dustin and Jake had smiles on their faces.

“Well, looks like headphones kid has me beat.” said Dustin. “Can’t compete with that.”

While all of this was going on, Jenna was looking at Jeremy and Michael, confused. “Hey, didn’t you guy used to hang out like, all the time? I always saw you two together.”

Jake looked at Michael and nodded. “Oh yeah, you’re the one Rich was talking about. He wrote ‘riend’ on your backpack.”

Michael looked at Jeremy, at a loss of what to do. Jeremy didn’t have any bright ideas.

Before Jeremy could do anything, Jake had grabbed his backpack and was now laughing at what was written on it. “No way dude, your’s still has the ‘boyf’ written on it, that’s too funny!”

Jeremy blushed furiously, and couldn’t bear to look at Michael.

Jenna seemed to notice his discomfort, and nudged Jake. “Come on Jake, don’t be a dick.”

Jake snickered. “I’m not Jenna-fer, I’m just messing around.” he waved off Jeremy and Michael. “You two have nothing to worry about. I’m sure the same thing’s been said about me and Rich at some point.”

Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief, and looked at Michael who was still looking down with his hands in his lap. He was about to say something to reassure him, when Dustin spoke up.

“So Michael, what kind of stuff are you into?” he asked.

Michael looked up, and after a quick glance at Jeremy, said, “Well, I like video games a lot… and retro stuff.”

Jeremy looked at the others nervously, ready to defend Michael in case they made fun of him, but Dustin grinned at Michael’s response. “Nice dude, I’ve got some video games myself.”

Jake gasped in mock surprise. “So one of the star football players is also more of a total nerd than I thought! It’s a wonder you have any time for girls and parties.”

Dustin shrugged. “Hey, so I’ve got a lot of different interests, sue me!” He turned to Michael. “We should totally hang out sometime. How about you Jake?”

Jake shook his head. “I don’t have time for that nerdy nonsense, but hey, if that’s your thing, knock yourselves out.”

Michael smiled at Dustin, and nodded eagerly. “That would be great!”

“Awesome, I’ll text you.” Dustin said.

The two exchanged phone numbers as Jeremy stared at Dustin and Jake, dumbfounded. Jenna interrupted his thoughts. “Well, I’d better get to class.” she said standing.

Jake stood too and said, “Yep, me too.”

Jenna looked at him, confused. “But Jake, your next class doesn’t start for another half hour.”

“Yeah, but I have to come and help you with your books, like the awesome boyfriend that I am.” he winked, and Jenna blushed as the two of them walked out of the cafeteria.

Eventually, Dustin left too, leaving just Jeremy and Michael. “Wow, they’re actually pretty cool.” Michael remarked. “I can see why you like hanging out with them.”

Jeremy nodded, and then looked Michael, expecting him to have some level of bitterness, but there was none. He felt guilty anyway, especially after finding out that Jake and the other popular kids may not have been against his nerdy self after all.

He looked at Michael, and saw him texting who he assumed was Dustin, which made Jeremy very happy for him.

**Jeremy, this is very good news!**

_I know! Michael is making new friends, and he’s doing so much better!_  
****

**What? No no, I’m talking about Jake and Jenna. They’re together now! Christine will no doubt hear about it soon, and then we can make our move!**

_Is that all you can think about?_  
****

**Yes. That is literally all I am programmed to think about. It is the goal you wanted to accomplish by activating me.**

_Fair enough._  
****

Jeremy looked at Michael, who was almost done with his lunch. “You seemed to enjoy talking them, huh Michael?” he asked.

Michael looked up and nodded. “Yeah, they actually seem alright.”

“So… You seem pretty happy then.” Jeremy ventured.

Michael sighed and stopped eating. “Jeremy, I’ll be honest with you. I’m not ‘happy’. In fact, the terrible thoughts that go through my head haven’t changed at all.”

Jeremy looked stunned. “But… You seemed to be doing great talking to Jake and Dustin. I thought you were having a great time!”

“I did, but that doesn’t just make it all better. Look, something I learned at the hospital, is that sometimes you have to ‘fake it till you make it’. Even if you don’t want to interact with people, or aren’t happy, put on a smile. And sometimes, other people can help it become real.”

Jeremy grimaced. “No offense, but that sounds like the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah, it really does.”

“Did it work though?” Jeremy asked.

Michael looked thoughtful for a moment, and then smiled. “Well, Jake and Dustin both made me smile genuinely after five minutes with them, and you made me smile countless times today and yesterday, so I guess it kind of is.”

“That’s great!” said Jeremy. “And it sounds like Dustin would be fun to hang out with.”

Michael’s eyes lit up. “Right?! I never thought Dustin would be talking to me, let alone want to be friends! I had no idea we were similar at all.”

“Well, you learn something new every day. I didn’t even know he liked that stuff, and we ate lunch together all the time. I’ve never heard him talk about it.” said Jeremy

Michael shrugged. “He must’ve thought someone would make fun of him.”

Jeremy nodded. “I suppose.”

The warning bell sounded for the next period, and Jeremy and Michael got up from the table.

“Well, thanks for inviting me to eat with you guys.” said Michael.

Jeremy nodded. “I want to sit with you from now on. And if you’re comfortable with these guys, then we can both sit with them.”

Michael hesitated. “You don’t have to do this you know…”

Jeremy looked confused. “Do what?”

Michael stared at him for a moment, and then sighed. “Nothing, forget it. I’ll see you later.” With that, he walked past a confused Jeremy and out of the cafeteria.

After Jeremy’s last class of the day, he ran to Michael’s locker and waited there for him. When Michael arrived, it looked for a second like he would turn around and run the other way. But he sighed and continued walking.

“Have a good day Michael?” Jeremy asked.

“Well, considering the only time you weren’t with me was when I was in class. You probably know the answer.” Michael said bluntly.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay.” Jeremy said.

Michael shrugged. “Thanks, I appreciate it.” he began to walk away, but Jeremy called after him. He turned around and let Jeremy catch up.

“Are your parents still going to be at work?” he asked.

Michael nodded, and Jeremy said, “Then I’m coming with you. We can hang out at your place or mine, whichever one you would prefer.”

“Jeremy-” Michael began, his voice raised in irritation, but then he sighed. “Fine, let’s go to your house then.”

“Great!” said Jeremy. “I think it’s finally time to try level 10.”

* * *

Michael and Jeremy played video games together for awhile, just like old times. Except it wasn’t. There was a tension that they could both feel, but neither want to be the first to acknowledge it. Finally, Jeremy couldn’t take it any longer.

“Okay Michael, what’s wrong?” asked Jeremy.

Michael turned to him with a blank expression. “What do you mean?”

Jeremy set his controller down. “I mean… You seem irritated about something. You’ve been acting off all day. I want to help you, but I can’t if I don’t know what you’re thinking.”

Michael sighed. “Well maybe I don’t want your help.”

Jeremy’s mouth fell open in shock. “W-what?!”

“Well Jeremy, it’s only been a few days, and you’re being completely overbearing!” Michael said, raising his voice. “You’re constantly asking me how I’m  _feeling_ and if I’m  _happy_.” he said those words in a mocking tone. “You get that shit off the internet?”

Jeremy stood up and shakily went to stand in front of Michael. “So what if did? I’m sorry if I’ve been making an effort to help my best friend! At least I’m not leaving you at home and making you go back to school while I go to work! Were your parents worried about their image or something? Not want people to find out?!”

Michael stood and got right up in Jeremy’s face. “Oh you’re one to talk about being worried about image Jeremiah! That’s how this whole mess started!! You cared so much about being  _popular_ and LOOK!!! Turns out they didn’t care!”

Jeremy was lost in their fight now. “Oh, so you DO blame me?!” his voice shook. “Great!”

“No but you certainly don’t have the right to come in like a hero and try to cure me! And criticize my parent while you’re at it!” shouted Michael.

Jeremy laughed. “Oh I think I do! I’m the one who found you, and now I’ve been having nightmares about everything going to shit, so uh… FORGIVE ME for trying to help you!”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Well nobody ASKED you to check on me or whatever, so if you’re freaked out, you have no one to blame but yourself!”

“No! You’re the one who decided not care about who you  _hurt_ when you tried to die!” Jeremy shouted, and covered his mouth to keep from sobbing.

It was silent for a moment. Michael seemed taken aback by Jeremy’s words, but then he smirked with an almost triumphant glare. “You read that on internet? Cause I’m sure that’s  _definitely_ something it recommended.”

While Jeremy fumbled for a response, Michael walked around him and up the basement steps. By the time Jeremy recovered enough to call out Michael’s name, he was already gone.

Jeremy’s mind was reeling from their argument. He heard the sound of Michael’s car starting, but it barely registered in him. He sank into his beanbag with a numbness that almost hurt. For some reason, his eyelids felt heavy. Jeremy tried to fight it, but letting out all of that anger just took a lot out of him. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yeah, like I said, this story is far from over. Recovery doesn't just happen overnight, and there are a lot of intense feelings anyway from something like this, but especially with the state of Michael and Jeremy's friendship. Lots of unresolved stuff.
> 
> But enough of that. Dustin will become a pretty big part of the story, so tell me what you think of him so far. I wonder where I'm going with his character... Who knows? :)


End file.
